NoPo needs a Movie Theater!

Still no movie theaters in North Portland. What's the problem? Jantzen Beach could use a cinema, Regal! Kenton Park could use one, as well. The only options for NoPo residents are to drive to St. Johns, the Lloyd Center, or Downtown Vancouver (not an option during rush hour). The first company to step in and build a movie theater in the vicinity of Interstate and Lombard is going to make bank.

Nopo Needs a WinCo!

Why is there no WinCo in North Portland? WinCo has some of the most inexpensive food, and people could really use this store in North and Northeast Portland. Yet, the closest stores are across town, in places they aren't really needed, like Beaverton and Tigard.

Boulevard Tacos (formerly El Burrito Loco)

Don't bother patronizing this establishment. Supposedly, the landlord of this place kicked out the former business (El Burrito Loco - which was located there for over 17 years), hired one of their former cooks, and opened up this business using their same recipes. Sorry, but shady business establishments don't deserve my cash. If you want a decent burrito at a great price, go to:

King Burrito
2924 N Lombard St
Portland, OR 97217
(503) 283-9757

It's just a few blocks away and tastes even better than the original El Burrito Loco did.

Suspicious Vehicle Seen Cruising in NoPo

Kenton Park area. Suspicious Nissan Pickup (dark green, poss. a deep blue, mid-90's model) seen cruising Kenton Park neighbordhood. May 25, 2007 at 1:05 PM. Passenger was black male. Driver seen from distance, appeared black, poss. Hispanic (age undetermined).

Suspicious vehicle was seen cruising slowly through neighborhood, passenger was witnessed looking into people's yards. The truck was not a company vehicle and there did not appear to be any lawn maintenance tools in the bed of the truck, which was pretty much empty.

If you got robbed in Kenton Park today, you might want to call:

Kenton Park Police Station
8134 N Denver Ave,
Portland, OR 97217

(503)-823-0104

Pizza Fino

Pizza Fino
8225 N Denver
Portland, OR 97217
(503) 286-2100

Pizza Fino recently opened up in the middle of downtown Kenton on Denver Ave. I hate to say it, but our initial taste test didn't go over very well. The pasta was flavorless, they forgot to include a slice in our carryout order, and the slice we did have was greasy and salty. Our initial desire was to rename the establishment Pizza Disappointo, but we've decided to give the place a second chance, since it was their first day.

The digs were nice, though. This place was actually nice and I liked the way they divided the place between the large back room (for diners) and the front (for boozers and carryout orders). Unless they improve next time, however, we won't bother going back.

Restaurant Review: Christie's

How many words are there to describe disaster? The residents of North Portland only need one word to describe it: Christie's.

This place is a sad blight on the entirety of North Portland's burgeoning gentrification. When we came here for breakfast about a month ago, we were duly impressed by the diner-like decor. We were not surprised to see old blue-hairs having their brunch. The decor, in fact, seems to be the only nice thing about Christie's. A basic breakfast dish goes for something like $6 (that's for a bottom of the barrel, basic two-egg breakfast). If you want something more substantial, you'll need to shell out $12 a dish. I don't know what happened to the food in the $7-11 dollar range. It seems to have made a speedy exit, which is what we should have done.

I don't know if we were forgotten, but it took nearly 30-40 minutes for us to get our food. And the restaurant wasn't even close to full! They must have burned it. Twice. Fortunately, we weren't in a hurry.

When we finally got our plates, we were unimpressed. Any wannabe cook should be able to make an adequate breakfast. Sadly, I've had better at Denny's. The hash browns were depressing, and partially burnt, and even the toast was messed up! Imagine, a slice of toast (pre-buttered, mind you) with so much butter on it that you could easily butter four other pieces! She had biscuits and gravy and said: "The gravy was good; the biscuits were dry." Even our glass of lemonade tasted like some pre-bottled, cheap, Winco juice drink.

<--- note: This is NOT what you'll be having for breakfast at Christie's.

Speaking of Winco, why isn't there one in North Portland? There are plenty of working class people here who would benefit greatly from one. Why do we need to go half way to Gresham or clear out to Beaverton to get a good deal on powdered instant potatoes from a bin? Clearly, it's a conspiracy that requires further investigation and a bold blogging campaign.

What was I talking about? Oh, that's right--Christie's. Yeah, it's that forgettable and that overpriced. If you want good breakfast, bypass the disaster and go to Cup & Saucer in downtown Kenton Park neighborhood (on Denver). It's good, and not as expensive, with much better variety.

In all fairness, I haven't been to Christies for dinner yet. Maybe I'll have to try it out, next time I've got $30, a bottle of Pepto Bismol, and a couple of hours to waste. Something tells me I'll need all three.

Restaurant Review: Encanto

We recently went to the new eatery, Encanto at 5225 N. Lombard St. This is what we thought: the food was ambitious, but horrid.

For starters, the restaurant seems unfinished. The building Encanto is in has been renovated, I believe, so we are willing to overlook the somewhat confused decoration (hello huge Antique sign, cut in two and placed in separate rooms). The exposed concrete walls and floors were actually kind of nice and the painted parts were tasteful, though a bit off theme. For a New Mexico restaurant, I was expecting something other than avocado-colored walls in the rear of the restaurant, but that's neither here nor there. The ambiance was sufficient for a restaurant, and even a bit chic for NoPo. If I were the owner, I wouldn't worry too much about the environment; it was more than adequate, despite the kitchen taking up half the dining area on one side of the restaurant, while the bar takes up another large portion on the other half. Help us, oh architectural design gods....

First off, the service was awesome. The waitress was subtle, yet friendly, and kept serving us water, which was much needed. It does beg the question, however: why not give us bigger water glasses? Those dinky things were nearly empty after every two drinks. I understand the desire to be sophisticated and chic, but come on! You're serving HOT Mexican food, for heaven's sake! Fortunately, the restaurant wasn't overcrowded and the waitresses were on the ball.

Don't get us wrong, we LOVE New Mexican cuisine. Hell, I grew up in Denver, so I miss some good Chile Colorado, some nice tamales, even a good chile relleno; unfortunately, I'm gonna have to wait to go back to Denver if I want decent New Mexican food.

Our appetizer was served promptly. We ordered Mussels with Chorizo (I don't know where you would find mussels in New Mexico, incidentally). It was okay, served with tiny, obviously farmed mussels (they had not even a grain of sand in the entire bowl), but the chorizo tasted a bit old and it was done up in these thick, solid cubes that just didn’t go so well with the mussels.

We also ordered the red chili bowl. You know, I love hot food, but this was just not good. It was like the cook took a jalapeno and some chilli powder and just poured it in with some stewed meat. There was no lemony flavor, no cilantro (and that's okay, since this was a New Mexican dish, but it just lacked any flavor at all) , not even an onion. There was a disturbing lack of potatoes to give it some heartiness. It was hot, but a bit bland. Still, the best dish of the night. They served it with one tortilla (obviously not homemade, probably Mission brand. Yes, we know our tortillas), even though it clearly deserved two at least. Cheapskates.

We also ordered a red chili sopapilla plate that came with rice and beans. The rice was okay, but a little flavorless, and it seemed to have been made with small-grain rice, which just didn't taste right; the beans tasted kind of chemically (canned?). The stewed meat was in a sort of chili reduction. It lacked flavor and even needed salt (and I never salt anything, unless it's french fries). There were no tortillas on this plate. Instead, it was served with Sopapillas drizzled with more of that lame chili paste. The Sopapillas (reminiscent of Navajo flatbread, no doubt) were flat in more ways than one. They too lacked flavor. For a moment, I thought I'd walked into a health-food restaurant, because everything was bland and overpriced.

Lastly, we had a couple cocktails. She had this Mr. something or other that was made with Kahlua, Brandy and coffee. It was tasty, but nothing incredible, considering the price ($7+, if I recall correctly). I, unfortunately, ordered something called a Tangerine shot. It was supposedly made with decent tequila, but tasted lame, like drinking cheap well tequila with orange juice. At $8 for a tiny glass of the stuff, I was sadly disappointed.

Speaking of disappointment, the price was just outlandish for North Portland. I would expect to pay this (or much more) at a downtown restaurant and for quality food. We ate and tipped 20% for a grand total of something sparse, like $50. Not bad, when the food is good, but not justifiable when the food is downright lame. I literally made a joke that I needed to stop off at Taco Bell on the way home. How gross is that?

I hate to say it, but this place is nothing more than a money pit to trap ignorant white folk into having a "New Mexico food experience." We're fine with that, if you want to take that philosophy to Tigard, or Tualatin. It doesn't, however, belong in NoPo, where people work hard for their money. When we go out, we want substance; especially in our local restaurants.

When I eat Mexican food, I tend to gauge it on how my father (a native Mexican from Jalisco) would like it. He's a stickler for rice. In fact, his philosophy is that you can tell how good a Mexican food restaurant is based on the quality of the rice and beans. Encanto fails miserably on both counts. I would be embarrassed to take him there.

If you want to impress someone with North Portland’s fooderies, don’t go to Encanto (or the lame-ass Christie's, for that matter). Go to the new Thai restaurant in downtown Kenton, or even Cup & Saucer. The Thai restaurant is really, really good, and I'm generally ambivalent about Thai food.

It seems the chef at Encanto needs to dispel with all the pretentiousness and get back to the basics. By that, we mean he needs to start making his own tortillas (and sopapillas as well), slow cooking his own beans, experimenting with fresh ingredients (thanks for the weeks old, solid chorizo), and stop trying to trick customers into thinking this is better than the common choke and puke you would find at restaurants like Acapulco or Mazatlan. In all fairness, we know good Mexican food. We grew up in Denver and have lived in places like El Paso and Los Angeles. Clearly, Encanto has a tall order to fill if it intends on impressing us. Unfortunately, the only tall thing about our night out was the tab.

Final quote of the evening: "Remind me never to come here again."

North Portland Needs a Movie Theater!

CommunityWalk Map - North Portland Theaters
North Portland has very few theaters in the area, yet this is one of the largest residential areas in the city. Here is a map I created on Community Walk. As you can see, there are a few theaters serving the North Portland community. Unfortunately, none of these theaters are very convenient for the majority of North Portlanders.

• The Regal City Center in Vancouver is literally in another state! This theater is always a joy to visit, but traffic can be a bit daunting. The main downfall of this theater is access.
• The Lloyd Center Theaters are okay, but they're a bit distant to be very useful for people in North Portland. Again, access is the problem.
• The St. John's Theaters are great. They both allow drinking of beer, but they both have one downfall: There are only two screens in each! During the times they're actually playing something you want to see, you will be treated to a long drive into St. John's. Access isn't as bad as some of the other theaters, but it's still no walk in the park.
• Kennedy School is a great discount theater, but it's still a bit east to be a comfortable distance. Limited by 2 screens, this theater doesn't give much selection either.
  

Once you study the map, it becomes evident that North Portland really could use a movie theater of its own. None of the above referenced theaters play artsy films. And I suppose that's okay. There are plenty of art house cinemas in the city. If we really want to go to one, we can go downtown. Although, the lack of an art house cinema is certainly a huge opportunity for any entrepreneur. North Portland has seen a recent increase in the number of sophisticates and members of the creative class.

There are several places in North Portland where a cinema could be placed:

• Jantzen Beach Shopping Center. There are plenty of large buildings here, many of them under utilized.
• Delta Park area. This space is relatively unknown and hidden from most Portlanders. The huge buildings here are also under utilized and could easily be converted.
  
• The Expo Center. What better place to have a large cineplex than at the end of the Max line?
• Kenton Park could use a single or double screen theater. Proximity to the Max line is excellent and there are plenty of residents in the area who would use it.
• Mississippi is another great location for a one or two screen theater. The only problem there is a lack of space and parking.
• Down the Interstate corridor. There are plenty of large buildings here and even some open spaces that could be converted into theater space. Parking is plentiful, there is a college nearby (PCC) and a Max line affords easy access. The area near Killingsworth and Interstate would be perfect for this.
  

The first person to step in and put a cinema in North Portland stands to make a lot of money. While the few theaters in the area are adequate for meeting the needs of most of us, I do think it's about time we had something closer to home.